Pattern of Un-Regret

"you'll know when love is true"
is all too cute, but
without further
ado-
such an over-rated
mis-interpretated,
self-initiated,
sacramentally insulting
crapshoot
of a thought

It's cyclical,
punctually pervasive.
not evasive though, I craved it.

like clockwork, I meet men
who move me
in some wistful way,
seem to mirror my ideals
and muse me.
make me smile silly-
soothe me.
until its best
they lose me

this one, I thought, "the best."
his soul i thought, was sure
controlled, concerned, carefree
at least the parts
he let me see.

then motion chokes,
I'm daunted.
stagnancy
demotes
promise like
a joke
not wanted.

Something broke
in time
despite our
cosmic jive..

he gave me butterflies.

though convo,
casual at best.
cloudy-with a chance of
deception
I might suggest

blithe chemistry was blinding
inviting
make me, hate me, hurt me , irk me

I'm a contender to myself

ruthless, it seems.

convince me that
committing is
cliche
that tired nights
and lies
would make me stay

high eyes
linger
without a fight-
lack desire to keep the fire
alive

mediocre passion
de-completes me
could not secure me
satisfy me sanctify me
caress me
forever.

I trusted for a time
that it was right
but I think in spite of that
I'm worth
the fight.

My faith relies, forgets
that love is not complex

Guilty of a hopeful heart, I digress.

senses fail when I falter-
but no regrets.